Baboons

From Wittypedia

A highly dangerous attack monkey from africa which use their big red bottoms to startle their intended victims before jumping on them and tearing them limb from limb. This is all done as a highly elaborate mating display for the females who, by and large, are normally less than impressed and would prefer them to stay at home and help around the house.

Many governments have tried to harness the attributes of this ape in the theatre of war but all have invariably ended up being torn limb from limb before even getting the chance to tell them about the amazing health care plan and other benefits they would be entitled to.