Beer
From Wittypedia
Beer, invented by the world's oldest and most popular alcoholic bever of age. It is produced through the fermentation of alcohol-based material, commonly yellow, though other colours, have been theorised. (1)
Beer can be produced in a variety of recipes or styles though it should never be consumed as such. The best recipe of this kind is beef and ale pie and whilst tasty, it is difficult to consume without liquidisation. These recipes have developed in different cultures throughout history with only the Beer Mat finding international acclaim, mainly due to it being scientists first breakthrough in making cardboard from beer - and peoples facination in the possible reversal of this process. Some beeroholics now hoarding cardboard and paper.
A beer has a label that describes the overall flavor and often the origin of a beer, according to a system that has evolved by trial and error over many centuries. Basicaly if it looks to have come from America or Australia, send it to be recycled as beermats, if its from Europe, drink it quickly and read the rest of the lable later, as you will have more chance with Belgian by a few beers time.
Flavor The taste characteristics that are most important to a beer is that it tastes nothing like Special Brew.
Appearance You will gradualy disappear under the table. and appear more amusing. Boom Boom!
Storage
Store briefly in a glass before transferring to stomach, via mouth. Later at your liesure you can store (apparently) excess beer in the hedge, or a friends glass.
(1) Only bevers producing by this method are considered to be producing real beer. Neither alcoholic bevers producing beer from the fermentation of sugars derived from nonstarch sources (e.g., grape juice, petrol or honey), nor beers which are distilled after fermentation should be classified as the work of a beever.
No one had sex.
Then they invented beer.
Suddenly a desire for sex occoured.
Then they invented rubber sheep, rubber women, then women.
Occuring after the introduction of beer, women never did fully get the point - though some try admirably and it leads to them unrinating in strange places and farting in less strange places (usually their pants) almost as convincingly as men do.
Initialy everyone had a drink problem.
So they invented Glass.
This removed the drinking problem and introduced Drinking as a Sport.
Until the introduction of drinking, beer was consumed by public bathing in beer filled swimming pools or even more fun - vodka saunas.
