Big Brother
From Wittypedia
Devised by accident when people auditioning for "Why Don't You" were left in a room and forgotten about, the basic format of Big Brother has never changed — contestants face two years in an IKEA showroom with just enough stimulation for their combined IQ of 54. Inspiration was drawn from thin air and bolstered with the potential of naked flesh.
The atmosphere is helped by Big Brothers famously ominous theme music, "Dance Fairy Dance, show the World you are a lovely genuine person - (or at least show us your tits)" by the Welsh composer Sting.
Format
Each contestant is feckless. First, each contestant in turn spouts about their specialised subject (themselves and their wisdom on life). The contestant may ignore everyone else until they have built a suitable irritating persona, maybe get naked, and perhaps state some claim to previous fame (like they saw Gazzas mum in Tesco). If a contestant is fun for the audience but hated by the housemates, or visa versa, an eviction scenario is manufactured by which the share values of telecoms companies have been known to quadruple.
Occasionally a buzzer is sounded and the housemates are beaten by a team of aggressive dwarfs.
(we can only dream)
Eviction
If a housemate is up for eviction but they have nice boobs, then the contestant is given a short period of time while Big Brother changes the rules of the show in their favour, leading to the show's famous catchphrase "Ratings Rating Ratings - shower naked or something".
The winner gets shunted into oblivion and the most annoying character is given a book to write, a pop career, a nice dress and the chance to sleep with a footballer.
