From Wittypedia
Stout metal policeman that come alive only at night. When
the moon is out they can be seen beating tramps with short billy clubs, the vagrants curl up in pain and cry horribly but nobody comes to their rescue. When the injured tramp eventually stumbles into the accident and emergency department of the nearest hospital and tries to explain what happened, nobody believes a word they say. Ignored, they become just another statistic for politicians to witter on about to whoever will listen.
Bollards are pack creatures and their tactic of advancing upon an enemy whilst shouting in their deep rumbling voices 'hold the line' was adopted my the British military. It didn't work out so well for them in the
two major transcontinental spats as the officers neglected to realise that not being made of solid metal, as bollards are, meant the soldiers were not impervious to bullets and so thousands of men were slaughtered in a cruelly efficient manner.
Some have said why not recruit bollards to be the soldiers themselves and thus go on to take over the world but such people clearly don't understand the word nocturnal and are to be ignored. Whilst generally in a bad mood bollards are known to have a sense of humour, this is usually displayed when someone in a
car tries to ram one of them, completely writing off the car and injuring the driver and any unfortunate passengers. They immdiately laugh like drains at this and then again later on when they tell their friends and cohorts all the gory details at the monthly meetings they hold in disused car parks the world over.
