Kebabs

From Wittypedia

When to eat Kebab
Best consumed on a stomach full of beer no earlier than 9pm (you can't go home yet you big puff, I hope thats only to line your stomach) and no later than 9am (the excessive daylight at this time renders the kebab tasteless as it forces your drunkeness into a feeling of doubt and hangoverness).

Between the hours of 9pm and 9am kebabs may be consumed at a rate of no more than one per 3 pints. This to avoid sobering (thus spoiling the kebabs flavor) or bloating (kebabs need a certain volume of beer to aid digestion).

Flavours
Kebabs come in a number of flavours though only two are recognised by a humans sense of taste. The flavours are "Deeeeelicious" or "No, blerge, this is horr... oh, bugger I must not be as drunk as I thought when entering the kebab house".

Most people simply order a "kebab, please mate" assuming that they will in turn recive a "Deeeeelicious" flavoured kebab. Mistakes are rarely made and it is only during non kebab hours (after 9am and before 9pm) that problems have occoured. and this is always someone breaking rule one.