Mice
From Wittypedia
Known for their penchant for cheese it is a well known fact that they were the first creatures to combine cheddar with pineapple in what has since become a party classic.
Hated by nearly all other animals such as cats, elephants, Mongolian hunting bees and one particularly annoyed starfish, they live semi-reclusive lives filled with dread at their discovery and the retribution they will recieve for crimes unknown.
Computer Mice
They sit silently suffocating under the heel of your hand.
If you wish to scroll a web page you push your finger into the spine above their tail and cause the mouse to send electronic signals down its tail (or over the airwaves via a rectal ariel). When you want to move the pointer on your computer screen you push the mouse around like a one wheeled plasticised computer input device, caring nothing of its feelings or need for air. Each time you want to indicate intent to your computer you smack or click the mouse on one of its bum cheeks or if you are an Apple Mac mouse molester you may squeese your mouse about its waist.
Leave the poor thing alone :(
