Shoes

From Wittypedia

Horses have shoes but cows do not. This fact alone sparked more barnyard controversy than the whole dog collar debate and sheep bathing debacle put together. It was also the primary factor in man's adoption of said apparel.

It wasn't long before it became clear that nailing bits of iron to the soles of the feet was impractical at best and somewhat of a hygiene nightmare, so it was only 50 years or so before, in a final snub to the still shoe-less cows, leather was finally used to create ornate foot housings - which remain popular to this day.

It is worthy of note that in an effort to appease the cows a highly creative line of cow footwear was introduced in the spring of 1975. This was roundly snubbed by the general bovine population who refused to wear leather on religious grounds.

Today, shoes come in all shapes and sizes - though mostly foot shaped and foot sized - and are generally a good indicator of profession. For example;

• High heels (woman) - prostitute
• High heels (man) - drag queen
• Basketball shoes - gang member
• Clarks shoes - English school kid from the 1980's
• Army boots - lesbian
• Platform boots - Tom Cruise