Shopping
From Wittypedia
The closest a man came to shopping is when the, not so masculine, "Pet Shop Boys" wrote a song called S.H.O.P.P.I.N.G which is apparently about prostitution, and so as close as a man gets to window shopping, if not the actual act of shopping.
The whole thing is baffling. Luckily we are excused. By reading books about sexual orientation you can see that shopping has evolved from the act of gathering. That slow browsing motion required to view a field of bushes and select the leaves and fruits for that nights meal, is a female trait. On the other hand the ability to see things in the distance and throw a spear at it, that’s male. Hence Sport.
Man shopping: Think "need car tyre", go to car tyre selling place, make purchase, leave. J.D.
Woman shopping: Think "want to shop", have a shower, call friends, change dress a few times, etc, etc, et-fkn-c, eventually returning home up to a week later with loads of stuff. Most of which is never to see the light of day again, and some scented candles.
History
Shopping was invented by Alex Ferguson in an attempt to keep women out of football. Realising they were rubbish at football, and he already had enough girls in his team, he wrote the word "sale" on a board in his local High Street, it has kept women busy all weekend ever since.
