Telephone
From Wittypedia
Telephone | Mobile Phone
It typically consists of a handset that is placed to the face, with a mouthpiece near the mouth, earpiece near the ear and a cheekpiece between the two that sits nicely on the cheek - like the comforting hand of an Italian girl after she's hurled spaghetti at you but then instantly regrets it.
Speak and the sound waves are recieved by the mouthpiece which then converts it into hair that gets combed electronically along a wire (in the case of land lines) until it tickles a gibbon in a very particular way. He then transcribes it to an owl (who flys off to tell his friends) before turning to an electronic synthesizer (otherwise redundant since the demise of 1980's pop music) which perfectly mimics the senders voice and relays it to the earpiece of the recipient. All this happens remarkably fast as the gibbon is fantastically well trained.
