The moon
From Wittypedia
The moon sucks light through small pin pricks in the sky known as stars, the light is reflected by the moon and a series of intricate domino arrangements onto the sun where it gets amplified and given colour. The sun waits until 6.30am before unleashing its load directly through the crack in your curtain and into your sleepy eyes.
The moon controls the tides - which it does through the power of the mind. It is also home to Chris De Burgh who sits there with a team of genetically engineered monkeys making moon boots and singing about how lovely moon rock looks dressed in red. "Luna in Red, Is dancing with me, ..."
The moon feeds on moths which it attracts by offering free bingo every night at midnight. By the time the moths arrive they find nothing but a weak gravitational pull and some discarded wigs and walking sticks and are mercilesly consumed.
Thunder is moon burp after too many moths.
Image:Half moon.
